Join Us

Welcome to our very secure, non-judgmental and private Club.

We pride ourselves in offering a personal service without intruding. Some people come to us feeling hopeless and negative about themselves, and we make ourselves available to support them to start living life to the full. We have special programmes for people with certain impairments. We have noticed how members who take up the opportunities the Club offers, and really go out of their way to help us to help them, tend to gain what they seek.

Unlike online “disabled dating” sites, the Outsiders club vets all our members so we have no predators, selfish members, or members who are prejudiced about disability.

Everybody has an impairment of some kind (social, hidden, sensory, or physical) so we are all accepting of disability, or may be on the journey to do so.

Most of our volunteers are, or have been, members themselves. As volunteers, we have found we are unable to cope with people who cannot handle their own affairs, so we do not accept people with learning difficulties, brain damage, or mental health issues (unless mild). The people you will meet, therefore, know to be respectful and to act in a dignified way.

We are plotting a new online membership joining process, and are being very careful to ensure we maintain our membership standards, and this should be ready in 2012, together with an exciting interactive Members Area.

Until then, we ask you to have patience with us, and fill in an application form and agreement, and pop them in the post. To receive a form, just phone 07410 544 318 or email info@outsiders.org.uk.

Club FAQs

What is Outsiders?

Outsiders is a network of people with physical, sensory and social disabilities who feel isolated and want to meet more people. We operate as a self-help group, with members empowering one another to assert the right to a private life and enjoy personal relationships.

Where is Outsiders?

Members live all over Britain, with a few in different corners of the globe. Our events are held in various parts of the UK and attract people from near and far.

Who can join?

We welcome anyone over 16 years of age who is able to understand the concept of Outsiders and supports our ethos. We ask that you fill in the application form yourself. If you need help, just give us a call.

We also welcome people who agree with our ethos and feel you have valuable skills or experience to contribute.

Why might I like to join?

If you are feeling left out or stuck in a rut, Outsiders may provide an opportunity for you to take control of your life and open the door to new friendships and relationships.

This need not be a daunting prospect, and you can take things step by step, with our support, if that is what you wish.

Outsiders provides advice and support through a help-line, workshops, and training in social skills, assertion, body confidence . . . and more.

You’ll get the opportunity to try out your new skills in a friendly warm and safe environment at lunches and social outings.

You could have a wealth of experience that other members may benefit from, and we welcome you to share it. By helping others you could very well gain more confidence and form deep friendships.

For those of you who find it difficult to travel, Outsiders provides the opportunity to chat to other members on-line, by letter and on the phone.

Outsiders provides hope for all of us to find love.

What does membership cost?

Outsiders membership costs £27.50 per year and £14 for people who are not working.

What do I get as a member?

For £27.50 (£14 unwaged) per calendar year, you will receive three editions of our magazine INSIDE, updated membership lists, latest information about events and outings, ongoing access to relationship advice and support via our help-line and free workshops at lunches

We enjoy having a large variety of members, who contact each other as and when they like through whichever medium suits them. We also offer a forwarding service for those who wish to keep their personal details private.

Who runs Outsiders?

Outsiders is run by volunteers, most of whom are, or have been, members. They deal with the membership process as quickly as they can. Our volunteer webmaster is currently creating an online joining process and we are working out how to keep our security tight so that the club will continue to be a safe and happy place for our members.

In order to join, please call by telephone 07410 544 318 or email info@outsiders.org.uk. If you get the answerphone, please leave your name and address and request an application form. You can also email office@outsiders.org.uk.

Here are the details which appear on the application form. Please do not use this web version to apply, but use the application pack which comes by post. You'll see, it's worth it!

How do I join?

We are currently still using a hard-copy application form which all applicants need to fill in, as well as signing an agreement. This process means that we can vet applicants, to be sure that our members are able to handle their own affairs responsibly and will treat each other respectfully. People who fail in this are told to seek other help and leave our club. This way, all our members feel safe.

Filling in the form

Please tell us as much as possible about yourself so we can find you friends on your wavelength. Only the details in the box will be sent to other members, everything else is confidential. Feel free to write more on a separate sheet.

How to fill in the box for our Confidential Membership List

Think carefully about what you want to appear about yourself on the list.

Here are some suggestions:

• Be as honest as you can, describing yourself in a positive light.
• Don't be dull. Grab the attention of those who will like you, and make yourself stand out as special. Avoid abbreviations.
• If you don't want to be recognised on the list, use an initial or nick-name. If you do not wish to share any contact details, just write “c/o Outsiders” instead of your address, but give some idea of your geographical location.

Can I get help with joining?

First remember that all you need to do, whenever you are ready, is to complete the application form and pop it in the post with the membership fee, cheques to Outsiders.

But, if you want to discuss what to write, or feel unsure, just give us a call on 07410 544 318 — volunteers answer the phone when they can, and if you leave a message someone will get back to you. Alternatively, email us at info@outsiders.org.uk

People who want to stay in touch with Outsiders but are not wishing to use our club facilities, can become Associate Members for £25 a year.

For further information, please send a stamped SAE to:
Outsiders, 4S Leroy House, 436 Essex Road, London N1 3QP

After I join, how do I go about contacting other members

Your first letter, email or phone call should be friendly, brief and simple. Don't send a photo or make demands. You are creating a bridge for them to cross to become your friend, if they choose.

Never call late at night, never visit without being invited and never mention sex with someone new.

When you receive letters, emails or calls, be courteous:

• Always reply, even if it's thanks but no thanks
• Be patient: some people have speech difficulties or are painfully shy
• Don't dismiss people straight away — this is a self help club

Does Outsiders have any other services?

Sex and Disability Helpline

11am-7pm weekdays on 07770 884 985 for disabled people with sexual problems, and for health professionals.

The V-Group

A discussion group for disabled women with intimate problems

The LGBTI Network

for disabled people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered or intersex

The Sexual Health and Disability Alliance (SHADA)

for health professionals interested in providing better sexual opportunities for disabled people. SHADA meets twice a year in London.