The Outsiders Trust is registered charity number 283350. The Trust supports the club, conducts projects and campaigns for the respectful acceptance of disabled people into meaningful relationships.
Outsiders is for people who feel isolated because of socially and physical disabilities. The club helps them gain confidence, make new friends and find partners. We welcome people of all sexualities, whether they are single, divorced, separated or married, and we discriminate against no one. Our members appreciate a club where disability is accepted and people can relax and be themselves. The first step may be to acknowledge the person's sexuality, and offer support in asserting their right to a private life, and seeking love in a society where status normally stems from good looks and money.
Outsiders was founded in 1979 by Dr. Tuppy Owens. She had met some disabled people who felt cut off, rejected and sexually frustrated, and found that it was easy to introduce them to new people, act as a go-between and become stepping stone to fulfillment.
Our 600+ members live in all parts of the UK, with many in Greater London, and some abroad. Charges are kept to a minimum: £25 waged/£12 unwaged per calendar year. Associate membership costs £15 per year. Extra donations are very welcome.
Members meet up at our regular lunch and party events. These are designed to be unthreatening and welcoming so that everyone feels accepted, can enjoy each other's company and perhaps discuss any difficulties they might be experiencing. Most people find their first event daunting, but our volunteers help newcomers feel relaxed, and introduce them around. Members soon start to enjoy the lunches and wish they were held more often! Non-members can come along to our lunches to meet us, and make up their minds about joining.
Outsiders is many things to many people. Some members just want friendship whereas others are keen for much more. Our application process is designed to help new members accept their disability so they can start enjoying life. New members can take their time to find what they want. They usually realise that it's better to take things easy, enjoy the fun of flirting and romance, rather than jumping into a relationship. New members are welcomed with a personal letter making recommendations, together with a list of library books on disability, shyness, sex and relationships. Everyone will get a phone call (unless they state otherwise) to see how they are getting along and make sure they aren't feeling dejected. We are sensitive to our members' varying needs and understand how shyness can make it incredibly difficult to make contact, venture out to events, and enter a room-full of strangers. Some of the most amazing relationships have been formed. We find that people who get involved with Outsiders are more likely to find a partner than those who play a passive role.
People of all ages with a wide range of disabilities and problems. Some have mobility disabilities, some are visually or hearing impaired, some have Eczema , Asthma , disfigurement, an ostomy, Phobia , shyness, Autism , Asperger Syndrome , fear of the opposite sex, problems with socialising, etc. Some are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgendered. Mostly they are fed up with being on their own and want a relationship. We have always welcomed people of ethnic minorities and currently run a project to ensure that their needs are met. You may be pleased to hear that because people join for a purpose, we encourage open discussion around topics such as sex, sexuality, love and relationships, and because Outsiders is about acceptance, everyone is tolerant and friendly.
Outsiders is an independent group run by and for disabled people. Volunteers have usually been members for some time, gained confidence and now welcome and encourage newcomers. The club is run according to our constitution. Decisions are made by our Coordinators (who are the people who do the work) at regular Coordinators Meetings. Outsiders is organic, adapting to the ideas of current Coordinators, based on the needs of our members.
New members sometimes seem absolutely desperate for body contact, love, and a warm relationship. We always tell them that we cannot supply a partner through the post but sometimes people do find someone quite quickly. However, we encourage members to take things step-by-step and enjoy some fun and romance before coupling off. Many of our members arrive very shy, quite depressed and fearful of rejection. We provide hope and encouragement and urge them to get involved so that they gain confidence and get to know each other very well. Such interactions take place on many levels - between long-term members and newcomers, at local lunches, through OutsidersChat and from the hard work and devotion of our volunteers.
The club aims to be self sufficient, and many members send donations, over and above their membership fees, to help keep us afloat. However, the rent has to be paid and our projects cost money. We would love to have salaries for staff which would bring a continuity of personnel and more formal structure. Over the years, projects have been funded by grant giving trusts including Lloyds TSB, The Swan Mountain Trust, The Mental Health Foundation, The Paul Getty Junior Charitable Trust, The Paul Hamlyn Foundation and The Hilden Charitable Fund. In 2003 and 2004, we received smalls grant from The National Lotteries Awards for All. Through the Leydig Trust we run fund raising events ourselves: two events a year, using volunteers Outsiders is unique in the world and we are constantly amazed that even though Britain is the fourth richest nation in the world, we have no core funding and have to work for free.
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