Part 3 - Setbacks and Statistics
In the early '80's, we had some very dynamic disabled people supporting us. Mike Bramley was one of our biggest supporters and Christine Nocek became a leading light in the organisation of 'Outsiders'. In 1985, the Mental Health Foundation agreed to give us a grant. Despite our protests, claiming that we hadn't really established our HQ properly in London, the grant was to expand the club all over Britain. We were to appoint a Development Officer. Christine, being too ill by that time, declined the post and we looked elsewhere. We appointed Wendy Joy.
That was a manic three years. Wendy, Christine and I spent every weekend putting on events (trying to get local members to run them), in Bristol, Cardiff, Brighton, Cambridge, Southend, Nottingham, Birmingham and other cities. They were lovely, if small. It was as if people in smaller towns than London were reluctant to come and mingle with other disabled people they knew. Meanwhile, the London lunches flourished with members from Paris, Glasgow, Liverpool and the South Coast, attending on a regular basis and groups of people getting together for trips to Holland and other holidays.
We ran training sessions for people who were helping at the lunches and parties and we also started group therapy classes. These 'Body Image Workshops' are aimed at improving the participants' chances of finding a partner by helping them learn how other people see them. First, each person says what they think is the best thing about themselves and the worst. Then others say what they think are their best and worst features. The contrast has always been amazing, and members have learnt important basic things that many of us take for granted. One blind member, for example, who just moaned about his lot, was offered the suggestion that he smile more. 'Smile, what is that?' he asked, never having seen a smile. 'I know what laughter is, it's hee hee hee - but what is smile?'
Wendy found the job too much and resigned, so the Mental Health Foundation project fell on myself to complete. I saw it through to the end and submitted the required report. They wrote back to say it was one of the best reports they had ever received, even though it showed how very difficult it is to delegate 'Outsiders' work.
Our reputation in the radical disabled world was not doing too well. People who had joined the club and had difficulties with partners were gossiping, blaming us rather than themselves (which happens in all singles clubs). My professional work as collator of erotic phenomena was being misinterpreted. The final blow came when BCODP, the British Council of Organisations of Disabled People, refused to accept us because, they said, we were not run by disabled people. We claimed that we were into integration, and our disabled members already had a big say about how the club was run. However, to get acceptance in the disability world, we decided we should invite our members to elect a committee of disabled people to run the club.
I sometimes think that having a 'democratically elected committee elected from the membership' is like asking everyone who shops in Marks and Spencers to vote for the people to stand on its board. In other words, we're running a service for people all over the country, andthere's no way these members can really know who would be best to organise their club. However, it is an ideal, and members can make sure it works. It's up to each individual to get involved and promote the best people. One thing is for certain, the more involved members get, the more likely they are to benefit from the club. All our most active volunteers have gained a really great boost to their lives, affairs and marriages resulting.
1991 was the year when the ManCom was eventually formed and, being the 12th Anniversary of 'Outsiders' and we decided to improve the club's. image by holding an Open Day. We invited professionals from other agencies, charities, people in the helping professions and relevant media. Despite a zoomy invite, only two of these invited people came along. We were very hurt. However, the project was useful internally, as it had forced me to prepare a report on the club and one of the interesting things that came out of this was some statistics on our members. Here's the breakdown of problems stated (apart from rare conditions) - note: some members have more than one of the following:
| Disability | Number of Members |
|---|---|
| Visual Handicap | 31 |
| Hearing difficulties | 30 |
| Cerebral Palsy | 51 |
| Spinal injury | 21 |
| Head injury | 16 |
| Spina Bifida | 8 |
| Muscular dystrophy | 6 |
| Multiple Sclerosis | 5 |
| Brittle bones | 2 |
| Rheumatism/Arthritis | 39 |
| Post-Polio | 6 |
| Restricted Growth | 6 |
| Disfigurement | 101 |
| Ostomy | 4 |
| Epilepsy | 19 |
| Phobia | 42 |
| Depression | 133 |
| Other mental illness | 203 |
| Ill/in pain (cancer etc) | 56 |
| In care/institution | 41 |