Following the lack of support we got for our Open Day, we decided not to bother with outside organisations, shun offers from the press, which always turned against us, and concentrate on making the club work for those people who decide to join us. We are, after all, self-sufficient.
Lots of members have taken on little jobs to help us without coming onto the committee. Joe Abrahams religiously brought gifts for our lunch raffles for a whole decade, and Leslie Dorrington has been coming into the office on a regular basis to write out the flags and place them on the membership map, almost since the club began. Both of these volunteers are well over retirement age. Another member who is unable to masturbate because of Paralysis has listened to members with similar problems on his amplified phone. Jan Martin has, till recently, taken phone calls from people who, like herself, unable to go out because of Agoraphobia . Mike Groves always brings people in his car to events. There are others too, some unknown to us, silently networking, supporting and getting support. The club sometimes seems quite nebulous, as if we hardly need a central office. Or so we thought.
In 1990, the Residents Association of my apartment block decided I could no longer use my home for work. I ignored them until they threatened legal action, then quickly found a cheap office in the Caledonian Road. The Committee had already decided that the club should be run by a paid secretary, so that it wasn't dependent on me and other volunteers. So, we needed money.
I decided to hold an annual ball to raise funds to pay for an office and the membership secretary's salary. It is a huge event, takes two to three months solid work for me, and many other volunteers also give their time, 150 in total, on the night. As well as earning money, The Ball also promotes integration, since some 'Outsiders' members come along, usually making friends with other guests. The Ball also welcomes people with minority tastes, and therefore acts as yet another catalyst for integration.
We usually select one member of 'Outsiders' to get a prize at The Ball, someone who has made the most effort either for themselves or the club, although usually the two things go hand-in-hand. Members who get involved with the running of the club and gain confidence usually find that this, in turn, brings them much more fun. It's wonderful to see people transform into sexy, happy beings, and great when they come to The Ball to collect their prize and mingle with other guests - a positive demonstration that people with disabilities can be appreciated for their sexuality.
The Ball takes up a lot of my time now, but 'Outsiders' has never ceased to be my chosen field of work. It survives come what may. Our London lunches have always been incredible and in 1993, when I ruptured my Achilles Tendon and had to walk on crutches, I experienced, first hand, how important the club is. Mixing with friends and colleagues outside the club, I experienced prejudice, embarrassment and a message that I had almost 'let them down' by becoming physically weak. Yet, every time I entered an Outsiders lunch, I felt the opposite: welcomed, despite my physical condition. People offered me concern but, mixed with it, was humour and a dismissal of the crutches and plaster. They saw ME, AS I AM.
London lunches, have been held on the second Saturday of every month since we began, at the following venues (and we appreciate their hospitality):
Every August, since 1985, we've enjoyed a picnic in Russell Square.
Women's Events have been held at:
Parties have been held at:
The London Gadabouts enjoy a good choice of outings and members go clubbing at the Bubble Club every month.
Local lunches have been held in Cardiff, Highley Shropshire, Bolton, Bognor Regis, Newport, Bristol, Cambridge, Nottingham and Manchester. They are currently being held in Ipswich, Kings Norton(near Birmingham), Highworth (near Swindon, Wiltshire) Reading, Brighton, Watford and Southend, with plans for others further north. We have run holidays, weekends, and jaunts to Amsterdam. Events are organised by local members and we continue to encourage members to stick up posters in their locality to attract more members so they can enjoy each others' company.
We have set up a helpline for members which is answered daily from a volunteer's home. We have a small team of long-term and more experienced members in each area of the UK, who take phone calls from members with personal problems.
Since the Management Committee began to use a telephone conference system, we are joined by Committee members from all over the country, and people with Agoraphobia who cannot come out, contributing to the decision making progress of the club. In February 1995, the Management Committee Chair, Annette Taylor, and myself, travelled to Israel to take part in yet another International Symposium, this time entitled, 'Women and Disability'. I was reluctant to go, reflecting how little impact the last Symposium had had since it was held, almost eleven years ago. We were pleasantly surprised to discover that some serious research is now being done on the sexuality of disabled women. It was also heart rendering to observe that, internationally, 'Outsiders' is still regarded as an amazing, unique phenomenon. Yet, we were still unable to inspire anyone to follow in our footsteps. The starter pack I wrote in 1991, entitled So You Want to Start a Local 'Outsiders'? has hardly ever been requested.