Outsiders is currently in good working order, run by a dynamic team of volunteers. We have a solid board of Trustees who meet regularly and are advised by an Advisory Group comprised of disabled members. Several grants have been awarded and the Awards For All plaque hangs on the door of our beautiful office in Islington.
Outsiders has been lucky enough to have some very exceptional membership secretaries, most of whom came from the membership and fundraising events, and went on to successful careers elsewhere. Thanks go to Di Impey, Sheila Dray, Dee McDonald, Paul Nevitt and Sue Nathan. We now enjoy the many talents of Eleni Stephani, Janet Brookman, Karen Hoffman and Philippe Gasguy.
With the club in such competent hands, I have been able to take a step backwards from the day-to-day running of Outsiders and in the year 2000, I moved from my basement flat in London to the Highlands of Scotland to be able to enjoy the beautiful landscape and sky. Inevitably, this has brought me even less free time, as I am busy on the croft as well as increased work for Outsiders. I am on the phone to volunteers and Trustees on an almost daily basis, and I travel to London six times a year for meetings, events and fund raising projects.
'Outsiders' 20th Anniversary in 1999 was celebrated with a Sensuality Day in the Area of the Senses at Kew Gardens. We entertained ourselves with delicious morsels to eat, a tactile fashion show, belly dancing and massage in the sunshine. This remarkable experimental art event was televised by SexTV Toronto, one of the best programmes made about us at that time. The documentary was repeated on Bravo TV in the summer of 2002. Please see photos of this event in the Gallery of this website.
In 2003, when SPOD closed down, I took over the their helpline, which I answer 11am-7pm weekdays. We plan to eventually take over the training which SPOD once offered.
In 2004, we enjoyed a really glorious 25th Anniversary celebration in the Landmark Hotel, Marylebone, feeling very grand in its marble and palm tree interiors. There were speeches, followed by a song, a Tactile Fashion Show, speed dating, and a Confusion Disco, then dinner in Zen Garden next door. The celebration was attended by members, Trustees, supporters and people from other agencies who were interested in forming alliances with Outsiders.
When we listened to these people from other agencies, it became clear that the way forward was to set up an alliance group of professionals interested in taking forward the issues of disability, relationships and sexual health. The Sexual Health and Disability Alliance (SHADA) was formed. This group meets twice a year, and provides opportunities for networking and sharing of expertise. Members feel that the group will prove to be internationally important and we are working towards formulating much needed policies for good practice.
Another great opportunity presented itself in 2005 when Outsiders was featured in the award winning BBC3 TV documentary, 'Disabled and Looking for Love'. We shared the screen with a group called Danda which helps neuro diverse people with socialising. We have now joined forces with Danda and together we are piloting groups specially to help these people with their skills to form relationships.
We are currently looking at ways to become more sustainable so that Outsiders becomes better funded and more financially secure. This is involving taking a serious look at our public image, at the same time as researching how we are perceived by disabled people. What we are sure of is that our disabled members really value a club where they are totally accepted, because they feel like Outsiders in society.
In some ways, the need for Outsiders is even greater than when we began. These days, people enjoy both the political correctness and the real pleasures of socialising with disabled men and women. People with mobility disabilities enjoy better access, events use loop systems, and websites are becoming accessible to blind readers. Disabled people are finding themselves included, until it comes to wanting a bit more, like finding someone who really loves you enough to take you as a sexual partner, or marry you! Such stigma is increasing because society is increasingly promoting the ideals of perfect bodies, good looks and status. People are being made to feel insecure thanks to pressures from the media to be slim, beautiful, fit and in good employment. Insecurities make people worry about what their friends, colleagues and parents might think especially if they find themselves in the arms of a disabled person. It is definitely true to say that today, disabled people enjoy more social opportunities but are faced with increased levels of disappointment when it comes to love.
Outsiders is much more than a dating agency but, in some respects, we compete with the disability dating websites. These are an obvious choice for disabled people who use computers but they fail to work for many for many reasons. They attract a hundred times more men than women, whereas Outsiders tries to keep the balance of the sexes as even as possible. Disability websites cannot vet the people on their listings like Outsiders does, and we hear horror stories from females who go on dates with people on the net. More often than not, disabled net surfers give up on Internet dating and return to Outsiders.
In 2006 we were lucky enough to find designer Mima Sharp who redesigned our logo and stationary. Jamie Clark and Jonathan Phillips who redesigned and developed a new website to make it more user friendly and accessible to disabled people. We also started OutsidersChat and a V-Group for disabled women with sexual problems. An LGBT network was started for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered members. A grant from the St. Monica Trust helped us start a project to find out how to help disabled members in various parts of the country feel less isolated. All of these projects have kept us very busy and we work passionately and endlessly to ensure they succeed.
Outsiders is still unique in the world. Britain should be proud that this is the only country where disabled people have their own club where their personal development is respected. Other countries speak of the sexual rights of disabled people to see sex workers, but their disabled citizens are sadly not respected sufficiently to receive encouragement to form their own personal relationships.
Despite its long history, Outsiders is still small, struggling, little-known and largely un-recognised. People worry that I will soon be too old continue with the struggle, carrying the responsibility of running Outsiders and providing all the funding, much of which comes from big events I organise myself. That is why we have a Big Plan to set Outsiders on the road to becoming secure, self-sufficient and stable.
If you believe in love, you would surely believe in Outsiders enough to give time, expertise and/or funding help us make this happen?
Dr. Tuppy Owens
March 2007.