The diagnosis of a heart condition need not mean the end of your sex life. Whether it is you or your partner who has health concerns, this leaflet will help you to maintain an active sex life whilst looking after your heart.
Health professionals are often reluctant to talk about sex, and many of them believe it is the patient’s responsibility to raise the issue, not their own. Because of this, 40% of people never have sex again after heart surgery, as they believe that it could bring on another heart attack. They wait for their doctor to give them the all clear, but often, it never comes. One quote was: “My doctor told me to ‘take it easy’ but I had no idea what that meant. It was months before I brought it up again, but at least then she talked about it properly.”
The truth is, if you are well enough to walk up a flight of stairs comfortably, you are well enough to have sex. Sex is frequently thought of as an intense and almost dangerous activity, but in reality it is the same as any other physical activity, and gentle exercise can be good for the heart. Research suggests that during sex the heart rate is no higher than it is during everyday exertions, and although the heart rate rises during orgasm, this only lasts for a very brief period and should not cause you any problems.
Many people with a heart condition find that they are generally less interested in sex, and some men find that they have difficulty achieving or maintaining an erection. If you notice that these problems occur around the same time as you start a new drug, ask your specialist if the two could be related. Your doctor may be able to suggest an alternative form of medication.
If you do have difficulties with erections, one of the most common prescriptions is an oral tablet called Viagra. Whilst many men report favourable results with this drug, it should not be mixed with Nitrate based drugs commonly taken for a heart condition. There are many other ways of treating erectile dysfunction, including vacuum pumps, self-injections and penile implants. Ask your specialist to refer you to a urologist who will discuss the options with you. One quote was: “We weren’t very keen on the idea of a pump, but actually it has saved our sex life.”
When it comes to sex, it is not easy to separate psychological problems from physical ones. Anxieties about performance can, in themselves, effect your ability to relax and enjoy sex. Being diagnosed with a heart condition can be a stressful and worrying time, and you may simply not feel like sex for a while. If you are single you may just decide to lay low for a while – if you have a partner the important thing is to keep talking and explain how you feel.
If you were having difficulties with sex before you were diagnosed with a heart condition, and you find that those problems are the same or worse afterwards, talk to your GP about being referred to a psychosexual specialist or a counsellor. There may also be medical treatments that can help. If you are uncomfortable discussing sex with your doctor, take this leaflet with you.
Any questions on personal issues like these can be asked on our Sex and Disability Helpline:
Post: Tuppy Owens, BCM Box Lovely, London WC1N 3XX
Email: Email Helpline
Phone: 0707 499 3527 : The Helpline is open weekdays 11am to 7pm
Website: www.outsiders.org.uk