Back in the 90s Dr Tuppy Owens wrote to 32 disability charities to see if they would work with us. We do so much, voluntarily and unsupported, where as they have funds, salaries and could be supportive. None of them agreed to work with us.
This year we tried again and contacted Enhance the UK, Leonard Cheshire Disability and The British Society of Sexual Medicine to invite them to speak at the March meeting of the Sexual Health and Disability Alliance, SHADA. None of them came, but Leonard Cheshire say they will come next time.
I guess the other charities steer clear of us because we focus on disabled people enjoying their intimate lives and do massive things to support them to do so. Oh well, we have worked alone since 1979 so we can carry on, unfunded and on a shoe string!
The last meeting of the Sexual Health and Disability Alliance SHADA, listened to people who live with hearing loss and no hearing. There are those born deaf who use signing, those who lose their hearing who use lip reading , and those who use hearing aids who might also use lip reading.
We were sad that Action on Hearing Loss ignored our invitations to come and speak, and we wonder what they do, as nobody mentioned they had been supported by them. Members attending the meeting realised how different hearing loss is to other impairments. Signers often stick with their own community and are not so isolated and there are some groups for other isolated people but not enough support. GPs and hospital staff are ignorant and many people treat them badly. Basically, they have a rough ride.
Our Club and the Sexual Health and Disability Alliance are reaching out to gain more members as both are free and we do great work. Both provide for isolated people : many single disabled people feel isolated and health and social care professionals who support their disabled clients to enjoy their sexual lives feel very much alone in their work. Both groups appreciate what we do.
Outsiders founder, Dr Tuppy Owens was featured in the Scottish Sunday Times 12.03.17 in an article ” Ban on buying of sex a ‘breach of rights’ “. Cchallenging the Scottish parliament, she told them that :-
It is illegal not to support disabled people to enjoy the same pleasures as others enjoy in the privacy of the their own homes(Equality Act 2010, Human Rights Act 1998).
This means that those disabled people who rely on sex workers must continue to have that right. She was backed up by Professor Claire de Than, Human Rights and Criminal Lawyer.
It is illegal not to support disabled people to enjoy the same pleasures as others enjoy in the privacy of the their own homes (Equality Act 2010, Human Rights Act 1998). Thus you can demand that you receive a care package which included supporting you to have a sex life or else your carers could be prosecuted.
This meeting will focus on hearing loss and hearing impairment in the morning and in the afternoon we will hear from other organisations which support disabled people with their sexual lives, ie Enhance the UK, Leonard Cheshire and the British Society of Sexual Medicine . We hope to find ways to work with those organisations and support each other as we are all stigmatised and fighting the anti-sex establishment.
We are hoping these new lunches will be as much fun and as friendly as all the others. If you would like to come along, join up. If you would like to help run them, let us know: Tuppy@Outsiders.org.uk
Members appreciate a club where they feel safe – as we are the only online dating site which vets our members to ensure we don’t get predators. They support each other and make each other welcome, and slowly, people form relationships and love affairs. It is really beautiful to observe !
A disabled member of the Sexual Health and Disability Alliance wrote this praise of our group:
Speaking for myself, and I suspect for every other disabled person that has had involvement with SHADA, I am extremely happy that it exists and does such a fantastic job of ensuring the provision of a vital source of information, education and a voice for the countless disabled people whose sexual needs are never addressed.
One wrote: I must say I have felt a whole lot stronger just being in this group and knowing there are such lovely people out there. Thank you all so much for taking the time to care x