We like to feel we offer a very respectful club. We provide our members with a chance to meet up both online and at lunches and events.
Our Online Membership Facilities
The Clubhouse is quite different to dating sites, it is a community of people who support one another and offer peer support, especially when things go wrong while they are looking for love, fun and close friendships.
Our members enjoy a wide range of opportunities in our totally secure, accessible and glamorous online Clubhouse.
Our Clubhouse allows members to
~ read about and contact each other privately.
~ join in discussions on new items brought up by others, or start one themselves up so that they get to see what other members think and are interested in.
~ see which events are coming up.
~ initiate a wide range of discussions in a group chat on topics like social anxiety, isolation, dating, sex, and having fun.
We have about 15 private group chats, some of which are for members in specific areas of the country. They are discussing what and how they want to meet up – proving that our lunches are not the only answer to their isolation. If, for example, members are going to be alone on Christmas day, they may decide meet up in a member’s home (someone who has no transport) to share food and enjoy each other’s company.
There is sometimes an active Women’s group chat which is one of the best examples we have known of peer support. They plan to meet up for lunch in a member’s home to enjoy talking together face-to-face.
We encourage members to write a profile which invites others into their lives by describing the type of partner they would ideally like. Members are encouraged to describe their tastes an values and their experience of disability and life.
Members can take advantage of the Beyond Impairment scheme, where they receive support to identify what they really have to offer a potential partner and use this to attract, seduce and enjoy a relationship with them.
Venturing into a relationship takes time, courage especially when you have poor self-image / self-acceptance and, perhaps, may have suffered the most cruel rejections in the past. We are always here to support you.
Other Social Opportunities
Outsiders runs monthly lunches around the UK although we would love to run more. The London Lunch enjoys discussions which may be duplicated in our Clubhouse.
Members may decide to go bowling, engage in a sport, go for a county walk, etc. It is, after all, much better that they choose what suits them, as some find a lunch in a gastro pub uncomfortable. We have many more members with social anxiety than we had in the past.
We hold an Annual Jamboree and Anniversary celebrations in London (see Events), campaigns (see below) and confidential discussions with a sex therapist.
Outsiders has always attracted a wonderful range of people, mostly people who are open and adventurous but also those who are very private and shy. Most are simply delighted to belong to a club where they are truly accepted and find others like them.
We are proud that our members are honest about themselves. Many have had unhappy experiences of online dating: advertisers not turning out to be what they seem in their adverts, often failing to turn up because they are really quite frightened, and thus seeming disrespectful. Outsiders members have been carefully screened before they can join, and are soon booted out if they behave disrespectfully. All have signed that they agree to the rules of Outsiders which clearly describe the level of respectful behaviour required (this is not moralistic — members can enjoy any mutually consensual activity).
We welcome anyone over 16 years of age who is able to understand the concept of Outsiders and run their own affairs. This means people with learning disabilities and brain damage may not be able to use this club. We ask that members fill in our online application form themselves, or tell us why they are unable to do this. We can offer help if you get stuck. We also welcome members who support our ethos and have valuable skills or expertise to contribute.
All members’ application forms are examined by experienced volunteers to ensure that they are not previous members who have been banned, and are not lookist, sexist or racist, or only concerned with their own needs or instant gratification.
Outsiders runs events (see Events) and occasionally campaigns for the sexual freedom of disabled people. For example, we held a demo on Westminster Bridge against the Criminal Justice and Immigration Bill.
Membership is free of charge, but we do welcome donations, especially when we have been really helpful..