Gaining Sexual Confidence

Outsiders supports the very different ways disabled people
gain positive body awareness and sexual self confidence

To Love yourself is the beginning of a lifelong romance”
Oscar Wilde

Disabled people may have many problems enjoying their bodies. From an early age, they may have only experienced medical or simply functional physical touch such as being washed, and attention has only come from from parents, doctors, nurses, care givers and physiotherapists. The sensations they have felt may be restricted to pain and discomfort. Their feelings about their bodies may be restricted to shame and embarrassment. Their sexual experiences may be restricted to abuse. If their impairments are new, they may be grieving the body they lost.

This can lead to feelings of disconnection with sensuality, distance and inhibition. They may even experience their bodies very differently to people without disabiliies. They may even hate their body.

The result of this is that many disabled people are lacking in sexual self confidence.

The stories they have told at Outsiders confirm that, having positive attention paid to their bodies, helps to give them a feeling of worth, and being taken seriously at last. It can set them on the road to enjoying the beautiful sensations of sensuality and sexual ecstasy.

Channelled Bliss Val Rusco and colleague soffer people of all orientations, abilities and mobilities a way to delve deeper into sensuality through the channelling of energy and the gentle touch. www.channelledbliss.com

Geli Heimann, BS (Hons.), MS Psych(a.k.a. Angelika Regina Heimann)Geli is a german psychotherapist and Integrative Holistic Energy Therapist who plans to offer therapy to the Langdon Foundation for people with cerebral palsy with learning difficulties. She says, “Positive Psychology explores people’s strengths and resilience both as an individual as well as the couple/family unit, rather than their weaknesses and dysfunctions.”

Deliciously Disabled  Andrew Morrison-Gurza works with individuals with disabilities, but the majority of his work is ensuring that disability is properly and openly represented in LGBTQ+ culture. Within the LGBTQ+ community, Andrew works to deconstruct our homo-normative, body beautiful ideals. Deliciously Disabled aims to provide a new language to describe disability that is sexy, fun and most importantly, accessible to everyone. Andrew is based in Toronto. www.AndrewMorrisonGurza.com
AndrewMorrisonGurza@gmail.com

Diva Hollywood is the UK’s top whipteaser with MS. With her double whip cracking skills, her cheeky attitude and her love of dark satire, Diva is a force to be reckoned with. Diva Hollywood made her debut in the famous Slipper Room in New York in 2005. Since then she has gone on to grace many stages all over the UK, Europe and the USA, achieving recognition as one of the finest and most individual performers on the circuit today. Not only does Diva perform but she also runs simple whip making and whip cracking workshops for people with cancer, strokes, lung transplants and all different disablites. Encouraging fun, pushing mobility, strength and body confidence, with ever crack of the whip. See more on Diva at www.divahollywood.com and see her perform at a recent charity event to raise money for MS research her signature Tiger Tamer routine. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1rYdlv2JRU
Contact Diva either through her page or at diva@divahollywood.com

 

Jo King When Jo King began her​ work as a teacher, Tuppy Owens, founder of Outsiders, was her first client. Jo has taught many disabled women how to connect with their sensuality​ with confidence including ​famous actress and ​comedienne Liz Carr who said “My self-confidence, as a woman and as a disabled woman, has soared since attending Jo’s courses. Jo makes every woman feel like a goddess”.

Jo has now started to run a class specially for disabled people in London and you can see more about it on the closed Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/groups/637023726456180/

You can also contact Jo on Jokingesis@gmail.com 07786 088253

Estelle Robb is a scottish girl who shares her experiences of cancer with ther mother and grandmother. She’s also a hairdresser and runs The Salon in Clan House, Aberdeen, with a free hairdressing service for those experiencing cancer, styling wigs to make them feel fabulous. 07920 474 941 estelle.robb@sky.com

Katie Sarra paints disabled people and their bodies in her studio in Devon. She is actually a qualified art therapist. Katie also supports disabled clients to reach their sexual goals using a mixture of tantric and other disciplines. www.katiesarra.com

Ashley Savage is a qualified counsellor who uses photography as a medium by which to explore body image and self esteem, aiming to empower his subjects as well as to subvert and challenge standards of normative beauty. His work with disabled “models” has been exhibited at the Royal Society of Medicine and other venues. To peruse more of this work, visit his website www.savageskin.co.uk

Second Coming D. dresses people up to look like spectacular versions of themselves, using clothing collected from charity shops. secondcomingclothing@hotmail.com

Sexological Bodywork is a new hands-on therapy which came from California and is blossoming all over the world. In Britain, they are keen to specialise in seeing disabled clients as well as having disabled body workers. The worker remains dressed and works physically on the client’s body while talking to them to remove sexual blocks and support them to be able to fully enjoy their bodies. http://sexologicalbodywork.co.uk.

Sexting One of our members (who will remain anonymous) has written about how sexting with strangers helped her gain sexual confidence – see https://femsplain.com/how-sexting-helped-me-embrace-my-disabled-body/?utm_content=buffer0d4e4&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

Sex With A DIfference CIC -  This is an approachable.professional and pragmatic social enterprise training company specialising in the area of sex and disability based in Sutton, just south of London.  They train social services and healthcare professionals, in the private and public sectors, about the sexual health needs of people with disabilities.  They provide guidance, support and signposting of services to disabled people, their partners, and carers about accessing services relating to intimacy and sexuality.  As appropriate, they can supply an advocacy service.

Spirited Bodies Esther arranges multi-model life art events where people of all shapes, ages, sizes and abilities come to life model as a group. Participants may reconnect with their physical selves in a new context, experience being part of a work of art and be guided into expressing the best in themselves. www.spiritedbodies.com

Talking About Sex in Wheelchairs Kelley Storum runs a community in Australia where disabled people can discover and learn how to create touch, love and relationships in their lives. There are monthly live coaching sessions and an online forum to voice opinions. www.tasiw.com

If you would like to join our team, please be in touch.

 

If you are running a group which fits this ideal, please be in touch.