This Section
This section is organised to represent your journey through a day of facing up to your challenges. It has been compiled from suggestions and experiences of members of Outsiders we began in 1979. Its pages evolved through the development of Independent Living Schemes, the AIDS crisis and PC attitudes. The problems listed are those experienced by members, and the suggestions are solutions which worked for them. They are not intended, nor ever could include every single problem or experience, but you can adapt much of the advice to suit your own needs.
We have tried to minimise the difference between the problems men experience and those experienced by women. However, it should be clear to everyone, that there is a tremendous difference between being a disabled man and a disabled woman. Men with disabilities have much more difficulty in (a) satisfying their sexual needs and (b) finding a lover. We hope that Outsiders members will recognise this discrepancy and ask the women not be too hard on the men, even though some seem so hopeless. Triumphs do occur sometimes out of the blue, other times not before the man has come to understand himself better and improved the way he interacts with others.
This section pulls no punches and is very direct. We discuss things that are very difficult to say to a person s face, like perhaps, you smell; things that might be quite hard to accept. If you feel offended and upset, leave this section and spend a week or so mulling things over, deciding what to do next and making plans, or not. People only respond to things when they are ready, so take your time.
There is also a lot of personal stuff in this section about sex. We are not sex obsessed but take on board that many people who join Outsiders have been excluded from sexual education and chitchat. We feel our first job is to acknowledge your sexuality and encourage you to express yourself as a sexual being. This simply means dressing in the way that expresses your desires, and feeling happy discussing or joking about personal matters. In other words, being just like everyone else. If your upbringing was very strict and inhibiting, and has sheltered you from the realities of adult life, you might find this section difficult to stomach. Once again, try to think things through and take your time. We are only a phone call away if you need reassurance or have questions to ask.
Although the section reads from a heterosexual perspective, we are aware that some of you are lesbian or gay, and hope you can substitute him and him or her and her for him and her - it would have been a bit tedious to write this every time. This book does deal with gay and bisexual issues.
If you disagree with things in this section, fine. We are not here to be loved but to make you sit up, help you think for yourself, and decide how to haul yourself out of your current predicament. If you don t like the various options we present to enjoy life more and find love, find your own solution but please don't do nothing, then complain that life isn't fun.
We would be interested to hear about things you disagree with and even better, extra ideas you can add in the future. We ike to keep it in tune with the times and up-to-date. We welcome feedback from readers all over the planet. Hopefully this will bring lots of new members in exotic countries who will invite us to come and stay.